Current mood:	annoyed
Current music:	bjm. reliving the setlist. sad.

just tryin' to put some diamonds in my schwayze chain
I have a music issue I need to vent about.
No, not last night's BJM gig, which was great and I'm incredibly disappointed that it's over. (Anton didn't really talk a whole lot, but they pretty much played all my favourite songs, even Hide and Seek with a refrain from The Smiths' "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" - perfect).
Anyway - I listen to a lot of "The Edge". Don't judge me please, my car's lack of bandwidth expander limits my radio choice to that and Concert FM, and as appealing as the latter sounds, my slightly unnerving like of "Fletch and Vaughan" makes the Edge a winner. I do have a tape AND CD player, yes, but I get bored of the limited selection I carry around with me and also I can't subject the kids (that I babysit, not the fruits of my womb) to some of my preferences - I've tried, and they're quick to complain.
Anyway, doing a lot of carbon footprinting around in my car, I spend a lot of time getting down with the youth, and inevitably memorising the lyrics of every Pussycat Dolls song. Usually even though it's droll, most of the stuff they play is relatively inoffensive.
UNTIL NOW.
There is one song out there so bad that it's not even spammed on the Edge as most of their fine musical pickings tend to be. It's so bad that instead of turning off the radio when it comes on, I'm forced to keep it on to re-convince myself that something so shitty has been written, recorded and is out on the airwaves.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you "Buzzin'" by Schwayze.
Now, here is the first thing you need to know: this "band" features the talents of one Cisco Adler. For those of you whose minds haven't yet been corrupted, he's the former friend/ex/whatever of Paris Hilton and Mischa Barton, of whom some very disturbing photos were leaked out on the internet.
Sarah Silverman made a joke about how she refuses "to watch any movie longer than Cisco Adler's balls. Google it." (At your own risk.)
So, hearing this song, that mental image is instantly burnt into your mind and stays with you for the rest of your lifetime. Bad enough. Apart from that, the lyrics are atrocious. White man rap about how:
"I move on like the Greyhound bus
I go town to town
and I prey on sluts."
and:
"I got a girl in every city
from here to Peru.
When I left you,
I saw my name on your left boob
now go get that tattoed,
I'll be back soon.
Don't cry, I'll bless you
with a text soon."

Yeah. Brilliance.

This didn't set me up nicely for an afternoon of babysitting. No, it sure didn't.

Speaking of babysitting, if you live in Christchurch you might be unaware of another sub-species co-existing among us. Merivale Mothers (and occasionally Fathers).

What the fuck?

These people seem to be deluded about the reality of whereabouts they actually live, and their surroundings. This isn't America, you fools! You'd think you had walked onto the set of Desperate Housewives if you were to wait for your babysittees after school at one of the educational institutions good enough for these folk. Elmwood School seems to be one - where you get a good contrast of normal parents and them, which highlights the WTF-ness. It's really something. You have women who have never moved beyond their peak of being in the cool group at High School and devoting their time to reading fashion magazines, who all of a sudden, as a perfect accessory to their so-far-so-picturesque lives produce a child. Their parenting seems to consist of standing around with the other Merivale Mothers and gossiping while their kids (Paris, Lily and, I shit you not, I actually had to look after this little gem, PRIMROSE) are being ushered into their 2008 model Range Rover SUVs.

There are even sub-categories of the Merivale Mother, in one corner there are Korean MMs, equally as glamorous and gossipy, but my lack of understanding of the Korean language gives them extra points for possibly less vapid conversation topics.

I'm lucky in that, while 'my kids' go to Elmwood AND Medbury (where there IS no control to compare against) their parents are relatively normal. The mum works, makes tea and even bakes (the cake tins are always full - albeit of gluten-free goodies) and the parents actually - gasp!- care about their children! The other family I briefly looked after (Primrose + siblings) - not so much. The parents were constantly off on break (alone) and the kids were showing obvious lack of attention (the oldest boy was even quite disturbingly sometimes in what he would do for attention). I'm not a child psychologist by any means but it was a pretty awful setup. I dreaded every time I had to go over there (apart from admiring the seriously jaw-dropping decor of the house - I must marry rich), a far cry from my current kids who I actually enjoy hanging out with and feel almost a part of the family instead of a mere servant.

A N Y W A Y that was way far off the tangent but yup. Pretend you're a babysitter and walk around Elmwood at 3 o'clock. Preferably whilst listening to "Buzzin'". You'll struggle not to be disturbed.